Cesareans. Cesareans, EVERYWHERE.

Cesareans used to be performed on dead or dying mothers to save the baby. The earliest record I have seen of them in the 1500’s.


Cesareans now are performed at the mother’s will and the doctor’s convenience (not always the case).  There are real medical emergency cesareans and thankfully, we have those. I cannot fathom how many mothers or babies would have been lost without surgery.


I find that I am often doubting my ability to have vaginal birth. I am so afraid of all of the things that could potentially happen but the risks are exponentially greater with a repeat cesarean and that scares me more. You talk to people about your plans hoping they’ll share in your excitement and then you find out that they’re horribly uneducated about how birth works.

You talk to your family and they tell you, “Just have an cesarean! It’s so much easier and you can plan it!”

Yes, because major abdominal surgery (without medical necessity) is how I feel babies should be brought into the world. For me personally, there is nothing more impersonal than an cold, barren operating room when its supposed to be the best day of your life. Doctors slice and dice like its business as usual.

Heaven forbid you get pregnant again and want to try to VBAC. Finding a supportive OB and hospital is quite possibly the biggest pain in the ass ever. You will feel so much rejection. So much animosity. So much stupidity.

I was at WIC the other day. They asked for my OB and I said, “I don’t have one yet. I am searching for a VBAC friendly doctor.” After explaining what a VBAC was to the nutritionist, she looks me dead in the eyes and said, “NO DOCTOR IS LET YOU LABOR AFTER A CESAREAN. LET ALONE THREE!”

1 in 3 women will have a cesarean in their life. That is horrible.

Each cesarean has with it, its own set of risks.

Recently, ACOG stated that VBAC is safer than a repeat cesarean, and VBAC with more than one previous cesarean does not pose any increased risk.

This will be a journey but I will do it.


My birth stories…

I have just recently came to peace with the stories of my children’s births. For so long, I thought that if I didn’t talk about them, it was like they never happened. So…

At 20 years old, I found myself pregnant and very uneducated about birth and pregnancy. In all my infinite knowledge, I allowed my doctor to induce me the day after my due date. I wasn’t dilated at all and barely effaced. After 16 hours of back labor, they deemed it “failure to progress” and at 10:02PM, my daughter was born via cesarean. I was very heartbroken. Later I found out that my OB had a golf tournament early in the morning which just upset me even more. Fast forward four years and I am pregnant again. I had heard about VBAC but I was really uneducated about it. I wanted my vaginal birth so I switched providers four times. By 36 weeks, I was so disheartened at the lack of VBAC support and providers, that I consented to a elective cesarean. It was much more relaxed than my first and I felt a little better about it but I still was very upset. Two years later, I am knocked up again, and my OB said I could try for the VBA2C as long as I went into labor before my due date. I was so excited! I went to every appointment, made sure to stay healthy and keep myself in prime shape. Then I started realizing that every time I had an ultrasound, he’d find something wrong and send me to the high risk doctor. At my 30 week appointment, he said he was going on vacation from the week before until after my due date and we should just schedule my section for the his last day before he left. I refused. I was given the opportunity to try for my VBAC and he wasn’t taking it away for his convenience. At 37 weeks and 2 days, I had a growth scan scheduled. I went and after the ultrasound, the technician sent me upstairs for a “non stress test”. Okay. Not a big deal. I get up there and the nurses are all looking at me and they walk me to the pre-op room. I have my mother-in-law with me, my husband is home with my two other children and they’re trying to give me a section right then and there. He said that the fluids were dangerously low and she had to come right there or she could die. He also said, “It is in and out and we’re done.” Business as usual, right? I was so scared that my baby was going to die. I called my mother and asked her to meet me at my house so she could take my kids and I could grab my husband and I went back for my third section. (I am getting so mad even just writing this out.)

Nothing makes me more angry than just typing this out. It hurts my soul to think that a chance at a normal, natural delivery has been taken away from me because of choices my first doctor made. A man who is no longer a practicing OB/GYN. That man ruined everything. My perfect birth— gone out the window. My subsequent births— ruined.
I know people say that your births are what you make them but I honestly find that to be the biggest load of garbage that I have ever heard. A woman can only fight so much before she gives in from sheer exhaustion.